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NEED HELP . . .
Now the previous What The . . . # came thru solid, as this COMEDY Thread suggests
But WTF with the one being just above ?
Perceived as a dude drawing a self-serve draft for himself and two table companions ?
Or is it only to be FULLY interpreted by a true drunk / sot / lush / wine-o
Such as is not being perceived, by my being a full fledged, card carrying te-totaller
Now the previous What The . . . # came thru solid, as this COMEDY Thread suggests
But WTF with the one being just above ?
Perceived as a dude drawing a self-serve draft for himself and two table companions ?
Or is it only to be FULLY interpreted by a true drunk / sot / lush / wine-o
Such as is not being perceived, by my being a full fledged, card carrying te-totaller
Last edited:
davenn
Moderator
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH . . . YES ! . . .now I recognize the computer housing . . . .yet, being even resplendenty complete with its floppydrive.
I was there, done that. I even had the same haircut. Never even dreamed at the time I was going to be replaced by a machine.
My wife did that while I was bottle feeding my son. Those were the days.
Your wife is your father?!?! (Very progressive!)
bertus
Moderator
List of humorous units of measurement
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_humorous_units_of_measurement
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_humorous_units_of_measurement
bertus
Moderator
I found this list on a site simply called music jokes. Enjoy!
**GLOSSARY OF MUSICAL TERMS**
ACCIDENTALS: Wrong notes
AUGMENTED FIFTH: A 36-ounce bottle
BROKEN CONSORT: When somebody in the ensemble has to leave and go to the restroom.
CADENCE: When everybody hopes you're going to stop - but you don't
CADENZA: The heroine in Monteverdi's opera "Frottola"
CANTUS FIRMUS: The part you get when you can only play four notes
CHANSONS DE GESTE: Dirty songs
CLAUSULA: Mrs. Santa
CROTCHET: A tritone with a bent prong or. . .
CROTCHET: It's like knitting but it's faster
CUT TIME: When you're going twice as fast as everybody else in the ensemble.
DUCTIA: A lot of mallards
EMBOUCHRE: The way you look when you've been playing the Krummhorn
ESTAMPIE: What they put on letters in Quebec
GARGLEFINKLEIN: A tiny recorder played by neums
HOCKET: The thing that fits into a crochet to produce a rackett
INTERVAL: How long it takes you to find the right note. There are three kinds:
Major Interval: A long time
Minor Interval: A few bars
Inverted Interval: When you have to back one bar and try again
INTONATION: Singing through one's nose. Considered highly desirable in the Middle Ages
ISORHYTHMIC MOTET: When half of the ensemble got a different xerox than the other half
MINNESINGER: A boy soprano or Mickey's girlfriend in the opera.
MUSICA FICTA: When you lose your place and have to bluff till you find it again. Also known as faking
NEUMS: Renaissance midgets
NEUMATIC MELISMA: A bronchial disorder caused by hockets
ORDO: The hero in Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings"
PERFORMANCE PRACTISE: Sex education
ROTA: An early Italian method of teaching music without score or parts
TROTTO: An early Italian form of Montezuma's Revenge
LAUDA: The difference between shawms and krummhorns
SANCTA: Clausula's husband
LASSO: The 6th and 5th steps of a descending scale
DI LASSO: Popular with Italian cowboys
LAI: What monks give up when they take their vows
VIRELAI: A local woman known for her expertise in the Lai
CONDUCTUS: The process of getting Vire into the cloister
MOTET: Where you meet Vire if the cloister is guraded
ORGANUM: You may not participate in the Lai without one
PARALELL ORGANUM: Everybody standing in a double line, waiting for Vire
MINIM: The time you spend with Vire when there is a long line
BREVE: The time you spend when the line is short
TEMPUS PERFECTUM: A good time was had by all
TEMPUS IMPERFECTUM: Vire had to leave early
LONGA: The time between visits with Vire
PROLATION: Precautions taken before the Lai
DRONE: The sound of a single monk during an attack of Crotchet
RHYTHMIC DRONE: The sound of many monks suffering with Crotchet
SOLESME: The state of mind after a rough case of Crotchet
ISORHYTHM: The individual process of relief when Vire is out of town
ORGANISTRUM: A job-related hazard for careless medieval percussionists, caused by getting one's tapper caught in the clapper
HURDY-GURDY: A truss for medieval percussionists who get Organistrum
QUAVER: Beginning viol class
RACKETT: Capped reeds class
RITORNELLO: An opera by Verdi
SINE PROPRIETATE: Cussing in church
SUPERTONIC: Schweppes
TRANSPOSITION: An advanced recorder technique where you change from alto to soprano fingering (or vice-versa) in the middle of a piece
TROPE: A malevolent Neum
TUTTI: A lot of sackbuts
STOPS: Something Bach did not have on his organ
AGNUS DEI: A famous female church composer
METRONOME: A dwarf who lives in the city
ALLEGRO: Leg fertilizer
RECITATIVE: A disease that Monteverdi had
ORCHESTRAL SUITES: Naughty women who follow touring orchestras
FINE: That was great!
DA CAPO AL FINE: I like your hat!
OPUS: A Penguin in Kansas
FERMENTED FIFTH: What the percussion players keep behind the tympani, which resolves to a...
DISTILLED FIFTH: What the conductor uses backstage...
**GLOSSARY OF MUSICAL TERMS**
ACCIDENTALS: Wrong notes
AUGMENTED FIFTH: A 36-ounce bottle
BROKEN CONSORT: When somebody in the ensemble has to leave and go to the restroom.
CADENCE: When everybody hopes you're going to stop - but you don't
CADENZA: The heroine in Monteverdi's opera "Frottola"
CANTUS FIRMUS: The part you get when you can only play four notes
CHANSONS DE GESTE: Dirty songs
CLAUSULA: Mrs. Santa
CROTCHET: A tritone with a bent prong or. . .
CROTCHET: It's like knitting but it's faster
CUT TIME: When you're going twice as fast as everybody else in the ensemble.
DUCTIA: A lot of mallards
EMBOUCHRE: The way you look when you've been playing the Krummhorn
ESTAMPIE: What they put on letters in Quebec
GARGLEFINKLEIN: A tiny recorder played by neums
HOCKET: The thing that fits into a crochet to produce a rackett
INTERVAL: How long it takes you to find the right note. There are three kinds:
Major Interval: A long time
Minor Interval: A few bars
Inverted Interval: When you have to back one bar and try again
INTONATION: Singing through one's nose. Considered highly desirable in the Middle Ages
ISORHYTHMIC MOTET: When half of the ensemble got a different xerox than the other half
MINNESINGER: A boy soprano or Mickey's girlfriend in the opera.
MUSICA FICTA: When you lose your place and have to bluff till you find it again. Also known as faking
NEUMS: Renaissance midgets
NEUMATIC MELISMA: A bronchial disorder caused by hockets
ORDO: The hero in Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings"
PERFORMANCE PRACTISE: Sex education
ROTA: An early Italian method of teaching music without score or parts
TROTTO: An early Italian form of Montezuma's Revenge
LAUDA: The difference between shawms and krummhorns
SANCTA: Clausula's husband
LASSO: The 6th and 5th steps of a descending scale
DI LASSO: Popular with Italian cowboys
LAI: What monks give up when they take their vows
VIRELAI: A local woman known for her expertise in the Lai
CONDUCTUS: The process of getting Vire into the cloister
MOTET: Where you meet Vire if the cloister is guraded
ORGANUM: You may not participate in the Lai without one
PARALELL ORGANUM: Everybody standing in a double line, waiting for Vire
MINIM: The time you spend with Vire when there is a long line
BREVE: The time you spend when the line is short
TEMPUS PERFECTUM: A good time was had by all
TEMPUS IMPERFECTUM: Vire had to leave early
LONGA: The time between visits with Vire
PROLATION: Precautions taken before the Lai
DRONE: The sound of a single monk during an attack of Crotchet
RHYTHMIC DRONE: The sound of many monks suffering with Crotchet
SOLESME: The state of mind after a rough case of Crotchet
ISORHYTHM: The individual process of relief when Vire is out of town
ORGANISTRUM: A job-related hazard for careless medieval percussionists, caused by getting one's tapper caught in the clapper
HURDY-GURDY: A truss for medieval percussionists who get Organistrum
QUAVER: Beginning viol class
RACKETT: Capped reeds class
RITORNELLO: An opera by Verdi
SINE PROPRIETATE: Cussing in church
SUPERTONIC: Schweppes
TRANSPOSITION: An advanced recorder technique where you change from alto to soprano fingering (or vice-versa) in the middle of a piece
TROPE: A malevolent Neum
TUTTI: A lot of sackbuts
STOPS: Something Bach did not have on his organ
AGNUS DEI: A famous female church composer
METRONOME: A dwarf who lives in the city
ALLEGRO: Leg fertilizer
RECITATIVE: A disease that Monteverdi had
ORCHESTRAL SUITES: Naughty women who follow touring orchestras
FINE: That was great!
DA CAPO AL FINE: I like your hat!
OPUS: A Penguin in Kansas
FERMENTED FIFTH: What the percussion players keep behind the tympani, which resolves to a...
DISTILLED FIFTH: What the conductor uses backstage...
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