More on (moron) US Patent Office

[Daniel J. Stern]

Got this in my work e-mail this morning. Their website is bog slow, but
does have the patent available for viewing. Apparently the dunderheads at
the USPTO granted a patent for a vehicle center brake light shaped like
the logo of whatever automaker made the car on which it's mounted. It uses
a bulb and a red lens -- just like every other conventional center brake
light. It's wired into the vehicle's brake lamp circuit -- just like every
other center brake light. There is absolutely nothing new here, nothing
original, nothing novel. If there were any remaining doubt that the USPTO
is useless, it's gone now.

---------- Forwarded message ----------

I am writing to you on the behalf of the inventor
of a US Patent that merges the automotive logo with the mandated high
mounted stop lamp. The patent covers the "concept/idea", there is not an
actual product as the design of same will be done by the automotive
manufacturer and/or their supplier. Have been unable to successfully
promote this concept with the auto manufacturers and believe we need some
type of quantitative analysis as to the intrinsic value of (what we have
termed) Logo Brake Light. Our website is www.LogoBrakeLight.com. If you
think you could assist us (or direct us to someone you think who could)in
gaining the ear of the manufacturers, we would appreciate hearing from
you. Thanks for your time and consideration.
(U.S. Patent 5,874,894)

[name deleted -- anyone crooked enough to apply for a patent on this would
probably sue me for defamation]

 

[TKM]

Got this in my work e-mail this morning. Their website is bog slow, but
does have the patent available for viewing. Apparently the dunderheads at
the USPTO granted a patent for a vehicle center brake light shaped like
the logo of whatever automaker made the car on which it's mounted. It uses
a bulb and a red lens -- just like every other conventional center brake
light. It's wired into the vehicle's brake lamp circuit -- just like every
other center brake light. There is absolutely nothing new here, nothing
original, nothing novel. If there were any remaining doubt that the USPTO
is useless, it's gone now.

---------- Forwarded message ----------

I am writing to you on the behalf of the inventor
of a US Patent that merges the automotive logo with the mandated high
mounted stop lamp. The patent covers the "concept/idea", there is not an
actual product as the design of same will be done by the automotive
manufacturer and/or their supplier. Have been unable to successfully
promote this concept with the auto manufacturers and believe we need some
type of quantitative analysis as to the intrinsic value of (what we have
termed) Logo Brake Light. Our website is www.LogoBrakeLight.com. If you
think you could assist us (or direct us to someone you think who could)in
gaining the ear of the manufacturers, we would appreciate hearing from
you. Thanks for your time and consideration.
(U.S. Patent 5,874,894)

[name deleted -- anyone crooked enough to apply for a patent on this would
probably sue me for defamation]

Add to the mix companies which just accumulate intellectual property (their
only employees are patent lawyers). See "Factory of the Future" in the
November 22 issue of Newsweek.

Terry McGowan

 

[Daniel J. Stern]

I wonder if these bozos have thought of the litigation aspect if it
could be proven that a Logo brake light distracted the driver in a
following car and caused a rear end collision.

I wonder if these bozos have thought of the fact that cars with center
brake lights in the shape of automaker logos have been around for well
over fifty years.

 

[Clive Mitchell]

Got this in my work e-mail this morning. Their website is bog slow, but
does have the patent available for viewing. Apparently the dunderheads
at the USPTO granted a patent for a vehicle center brake light shaped
like the logo of whatever automaker made the car on which it's mounted.
It uses a bulb and a red lens -- just like every other conventional
center brake light. It's wired into the vehicle's brake lamp circuit --
just like every other center brake light. There is absolutely nothing
new here, nothing original, nothing novel. If there were any remaining
doubt that the USPTO is useless, it's gone now.

No problem. Just patent the concept of a headlight with the companies
logo in reverse so that they project the word FORD or something similar
into the faces of oncoming traffic.

Then there are the logo indicators which could even be shaped in the
words "left" and "right" to improve the safety of dyslexic pedestrians.

 

[Clive Mitchell]

Now if someone could design a colour LCD gobo with picture quality
pixels that would withstand the heat of the hottest Theatre Fixture -
that would be worth patenting and would have no complaints from me.

They're available, but you may have to save your pennies to buy one.
(And I mean SAVE real hard!)

 

[Daniel J. Stern]

I wonder if you could patent the idea of having a patent - that would
really stuff up the USPTO.

No fair, I had it first. Cease and desist immediately or I'll sic my
vicious lawyers on you.

 

[Daniel J. Stern]

Sorry. I have a business methods patent on that particular use of
lawyers.

Oh yeah? Well, I have an intellectual propitty patent on the idea of
having a patent on that particular use of lawyers, so (neener)^3.