Hugeass said:
New owners at the Bass residence? First ADI than ELK - now what.
Boy are *you* behind the times...
Let me bring you up to speed:
- The ECLB knocked on Robert's door.
- Robert ducked out the back and caught the first plane to Brazil.
- He sold the house on Pine Cone Circle.
- He started posting from Carnaval through his Blackberry.
- He moved into some low rent "digs" (third floor concrete building in
"the Barrio", Bahia).
- His son (Michael) sent him a VOIP phone. He was supposed to send it
FedEx Overnight, but misunderstood and the phone was finally delivered
by Juan Valdez and his Donkey a couple of days ago. This explains the
"mailbox full" message when you press "1" for "sales support" at Bass
Burglar Alarms.
- ADI sent him a legal cease and desist order.
- The lady now living at Pine Cone Circle got it, called Robert's VOIP
phone twenty-four times, and left messages (which explains why his
mailbox is full).
- Honeywell sent him a legal cease and desist order.
- The lady living at Pine Cone Circle left for Montreal in frustration
(she hitched a ride on the "Air Canasta" flight that delivered Bob
Campbell to Florida "sans" motorcycle and the dark glasses necessary to
surreptitiously watch "babes" on the beach). The last bit explains the
slight discolouration around his left eye where his wife accidentally on
purpose walloped him with a well aimed bottle of SPF 300 Sunscreen.
- Robert lost his wife in a crowd of 14000 frantic Brazilian "new found"
"friends" but found her again when one of her relatives spotted him
dancing down the street and decided to kidnap him because the Armani tie
looped across his forehead made him look "rich". He's finally been able
to convince them that they could make more money by opening a monitoring
station where they'd only have to hire monkeys to push the buttons (and
pay them bananas).
- He's planning on smuggling himself back into Florida sometime in
April. How he's going to do this is TOP SECRET, but it involves a
couple of blow-up dolls, a roll of 22/4 Station "Z" wire, some K-Y
jelly, and a paddle.
